1. Go to the market to buy some vegetables.
2. Get suckered in to buying some weird lettucy thing because you don’t know how to say “cabbage” in French.
3. Lose your onions somewhere between the market and home.
4. Start soaking the dry beans you bought.
5. Four hours later, get tired of waiting around for the beans and start cooking the beef with onions and garlic.
6. Add water and beans and start chopping vegetables.
7. Add potatoes, carrots, and celery first because they take the longest to cook.
8. Let the soup boil for a while.
9. Come back and look at soup. Kind of freak out because there is foam on top.
10. Try to stir it and make the foam go away.
11. Consider posting on facebook, “Why does my vegetable soup have foam on top?”
12. Decide that would make you look incompetent.
13. Scoop some of the foam off.
14. Add mushrooms and tomatoes.
15. Check on soup about half an hour later.
16. Lament because the potatoes and carrots are mushy, but the beans are still hard.
17. Stir to the bottom and discover that some of the beans are ready.
18. Put the lid on and dejectedly walk away.
19. Check back a while later.
20. Frown because all vegetables are now mushy, except for the mushrooms which look rubbery, but some of the beans are still not done.
21. Be like, “It’s ok, I’m eating it with a spoon anyway, I won’t know it’s mushy,” and add some Tabasco Sauce to make yourself feel better.
22. Rejoice because the soup has stopped foaming.
23. Be sad because you lost your onions and wonder if the guy charged you for them and then never gave them to you.
24. Check on soup again. Beans are done!
25. Try to scoop a bowl of soup without mashing all the potatoes and carrots.
26. Eat the soup and be glad nobody else has to eat it.